I have recently been asked to write a few paragraphs about why I love rope and what I get from it. I know I have written similar writing before but I think it is always good to reflect, so here is a new one on rope and what I get from it.

Connection and Communication

More than anything else, what I get the most from rope is being connected both physically and emotionally to my partner. Being in constant contact, continuing communication, it is when I am bound I feel closest to him. It’s more than just physical contact or even feeling each other, it’s reaching inside one another. I think this is the closest thing possible to being able to read my partners mind, but I think to get this close you have to be a good listener.  When my mind drifts and I ‘space’, I drift to him, listen to him and feel him. Which is why flow is so important, I can tell if he is frustrated, upset, sad or distracted. Being together in that moment is a powerful experience.


When I am bound, I find I can discover things about myself I never knew, endurance is a very effective teacher in this respect. In my experience, when I endure a stressful position, painful rope or emotional intensity, I develop as a person in character, discipline and learn exactly how magnificent the human body can be and what it is capable of.  I like having something to strive for, a goal to achieve, which rope continually offers, there is always a new challenge. Making my body endure and adapt, listening to my body and really feel what I am experiencing, is a very liberating and empowering experience.


Of course none of this comes with out arousal, it can at times, but I can’t help but become aroused when my partner ties me. From cues before hand, familiar music playing, candles burning, ropes being laid out to the aftermath of stinging marks in a hot bubble bath, aching body, pulling wax out of my hair. It is arousing from start until long afterwards. Not to mention the delicious centre, where most of the fun and depravity happens. Even if sex plays no part, there is a sexual undercurrent, which can be very strong and pull you under, drowning you in a sea of blissful torment. Sometimes they can be the most arousing scenes.


Since I began this wonderfully perverted journey, I have gained more and more confidence, becoming more grounded and comfortable with who I am as a person. I am an intelligent, happy and confident woman. I used to come across as, what Doms would say, a ‘natural submissive’, really I was  lacking in confidence and wanted to keep everyone happy. To a degree I still want to make people happy, but I am more cautious how I present myself. My submission is something private, for individuals I choose to submit to, not every member of the general public. As a result, I no longer come across as a meek, vulnerable individual trying to please everyone I meet. I am confident, assertive while still making sure the people in my life are happy.

Rope offers me the chance to submit, here I feel strong and secure enough to let go. I trust my body enough to process and cope with what comes my way during a scene and I trust the person I am playing with enough to look after my well being. Enduring the pain that comes with rope means submitting to it, going with the feeling, clearing my mind to simply process the pain and create that space with my rope partner.